oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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