Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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