i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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