called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize