ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize