I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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