I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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