I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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