worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize