But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
