just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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