just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
