how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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