im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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