you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
