I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
