I like my sex mixed with concussions.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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