I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
