Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
