Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
