As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Found the puke drawer
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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