we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
