you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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