I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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