Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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