drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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