i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
