dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
