So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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