If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
