There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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