I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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