I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
