and you said cock pushups were impossible
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
