Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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