these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
