First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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