He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
