4 words: hood of his car
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
