That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
