We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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