i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
