Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize