Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
