ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I don't want my vagina anymore.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
