Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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