she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
