mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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