everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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