Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
