thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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