East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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