yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
the condom got lost in my hair
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
