he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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