please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
