okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
