Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
