Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
