one two three fourrrrnication!
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Tornado booty call.. dedication
That accounts for only three of the penises
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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