LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
