Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
