He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
