haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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